Parenting 101

"Breathing in I calm myself, breathing out I smile." Thich Nhat Hanh

So often I search for answers from books, experts and outside sources. Desperately seeking some kind of guidance, and perhaps at times even reinforcement. Uncertain if the choices I make are correct. Critical of the times I lose my patience or make a thoughtless comment or gesture. Riddled with self-doubt and confusion. And simultaneously inspired and filled with more love than I could have ever imagined. Blurry from the exhaustion of another sleepless night, seeing the world through the eyes of a child... everything new and everything just as it is in this moment. Holding space for tears, for fear... trying not to change the emotions, knowing they are a part of life and yet wanting desperately to wipe the pain away. Amazed at each word, each expression, each action, each experience... could it really be this simple. Confused by the expressions of independence that challenge my own beliefs and expectations... oh those expectations.
It is a journey that has no recipe... no matter how hard we search for the perfect answers and solutions... it is simply an adventure in being present and being open to learning.

A friend recently sent me a message that resonated with me deeply... and so as I reflect on being a mama, I also celebrate these words and the intention they hold for me and for my children as I watch them grow... Thank you Shawna!

"They grow up so fast and search out their independence long before we are ready to give it to them... And those fears and doubts we had when we got started with this parenthood thing just keep getting bigger... But we try our best and that's what counts because that is what they will carry with them... Not how much they did or did not have, not how often we did or didn't lose our tempers, not how many good or bad decisions we made but how hard we tried to do right by them..." ~ Shawna

a tender moment shared together.

sweet love.

a green infusion

On April 11th we got a surprise visit from Cousin Graham and at the same time Isabel got to enjoy connecting with family that she usually only talks about when reading the Lorax (since when reading this particular Dr. Seuss, Isabel seems to think of Graham as a modern day Lorax). Graham is extremely involved in environmental issues and founded the website www.treehugger.com. He was inspired to visit us following a trip with Ted Oceans to the Galapagos Islands... being so close, we were glad to get his email just a day or two before his arrival to say he had re-routed his flight to come and visit us.

Graham immerses himself in discovering ways that he can better live green... and his passion (as well as his hesitation) left me with a lot to think about. His hesitation about the future made me reflect on what it is that truly inspires me to wake up each morning... knowing that humans are not perfect and that each day we make choices that have a negative impact on our planet, on our home. His passion for living green inspired me to consider what more I could do on a daily basis, and also to take a moment to celebrate just how much so many people truly are doing... both on a big and small scale.

Graham sharing some photos from his Galapagos tour

As we looked through some of the photos from the Galapagos and learned more about what is happening to our oceans... it was at times difficult to stay positive. Even Graham admitted to finding it hard to wake up in the mornings and keep on keeping on (whatever that might mean). And in the moment of it I was struck (yet again) by the tremendous capacity I gain from my children to do what needs to be done in any given day. I cannot get lost in a feeling of helplessness or even futility, because they are with me keeping me present in this very moment.

Graham & Anaïs sharing a special moment together

And as we played in the park, and I watched their smiles, I also realized just how much my children not only ground me, but also inspire me to make positive choices (or at least the best ones that i can at any given moment). It also made me cherish just how much freedom I have to make the choices that feel right for me, for the future of my children, for the planet. And this awareness gave me a sense of recognition for all of the actions people take all over the world... big or small, in their own little way. Not everyone is conscious of how much their decisions can affect the planet, the oceans, the world around them... and yet every little thing does truly count, for it is all the little things that make up the big things, and it is in their unity that they further challenge the larger entities to also make change.. big change.

So, instead of feeling dismayed and depressed, I felt hopeful... and grateful... for people like Graham and for everyday people like you and me... who try to live consciously and conscientiously.

Graham & Isabel playing some 'serious' dress up

As our time wrapped up, we also discussed the value of vegetarianism on keeping the planet healthy... and Graham told us about his 'weekday vegetarianism' approach when talking to people for whom giving up meat altogether seemed an impossible feat. I wanted to share some of his reflections on this topic as I think it is a nice way to stop thinking about vegetarianism (like so many other issues) as an 'all or nothing' concept. Of course, for us, vegetarianism is a way of life... but it is a personal choice we have made for ourselves and for our family. Perhaps by exploring various 'degrees' of vegetarian living, might actually make it more accessible to more people who are tempted by the concept, yet turned off by the extremism.

a perfect easter weekend...

An easter egg hunt with some friends... another at home in our 'building park'... and a fabulous road trip out to Laguna de Guatavita located about 55km north-east of Bogotá. It was a beautiful drive up the mountains, and then a lovely walk through the forest and then up to the hilltop to see the lake. Most of all, it was a magical day out of the city in the fresh air with the girls. They were amazing on the hike... Anaïs cozy in her backpack and Isabel hiking most of the way up on her own.

mama with a tired Anaïs... and a view of Lake Guatavita

papa & isabel climbing up, up, up!!