the circles of life

The birth of Anaïs is bookmarked on each end with the passing of two fabulous women. Just 13 days before her birth marked the death of my grandmother, Duza Mama (Maria Schwartz). And as Anaïs turned seven weeks, one of my mother's best friends - Anna Jakubowska - passed away on April 2nd. Reflecting upon the loss of both of these women, as I embraced the new life before me, put the circle of life into perspective in a way that I had never expected. I also realized that Anaïs is named after both - for my grandmother was intentional, yet for Anna (which is the base of Anaïs) it was unexpected and very profound (just as her death). Anna Jakubowska was a fantastic woman -- a doctor who practiced with her heart, rather than her textbook. She explored the world and never missed the opportunity to share in a special event with family and friends. What was most meaningful to me is that she treated each person, each patient, as an individual... if i had become a doctor, i would have wanted to practice as she did... with a deeper knowledge of the human spirit. She has been a part of my life for as long as I remember living in Canada, and my mother shared a nice dinner with her each week and they talked on the phone daily. She has two fabulous children, and as I think of them I am instantly reminded of how lucky I am to have my mother (and my mother-in-law)... both in my life and in that of my two girls. The bonds we create with family and close friends are indescribable. They bring us strength when we feel we can no longer walk; they give us courage when we are ready to give up; they offer a shoulder when we need to rest; they offer a joke when we need to laugh; they are an unjudging ear when we need to be heard; they listen compassionately when we need to cry; and their presence is not hindered by physical distance. A friend sent me this poem and it resonated for me this experience... the message is simple and strong, and for me it resonated as I embraced the loss of two mothers, and myself became a mother of two within a short span of time... fully and completely living the circles of life. As I read it, I also realized that 'mother' could easily be replaced by parent or father... as it also made me think of my own father who, even though he is not walking this earth anymore, is with me always. --- The young mother set her foot on the path of life. "Is this the long way?" she asked. The guide said, "Yes, and the way is hard. You will be old before you reach the end of it, but the end will be better than the beginning." She was happy and would not believe that anything could be better than these years. So she played with her children, she fed them and bathed them, and taught them how to tie their shoes and ride a bike and reminded them to feed the dog, and do their homework and brush their teeth. The sun shone on them, and the young mother cried, "Nothing will ever be lovelier than this." Then the nights came, and the storms, and the path was sometimes dark, and the children shook with fear and cold, and the mother drew them close and covered them with her arms, and the children said, "Mother, we are not afraid, for you are near, and no harm can come." The morning came, and there was a hill ahead. The children climbed and grew weary, and the mother was weary. But at all times she said to the children, "A little patience and we are there." So the children climbed, and as they climbed they learned to weather the storms. With this, she gave them strength to face the world. Year after year, she showed them compassion, understanding, hope, but most of all....unconditional love. And when they reached the top they said, "Mother, we would not have done it without you." The days went on, and the weeks and the months and the years, and the mother grew old, and she became little and bent. But her children were tall and strong and walked with courage. And the mother, when she lay down at night, looked up at the stars and said, "This is a better day than the last, for my children have learned so much and are now passing these traits on to their children." When the way became rough for her, the children lifted her, and gave her their strength, just as she had given them hers. One day they came to a hill, and beyond the hill, they could see a shining road and golden gates flung wide. Mother said, "I have reached the end of my journey. Now I know the end is better than the beginning, for my children can walk with dignity and pride, with their heads held high, and so can their children after them." The children said, "You will always walk with us, mother, even when you have gone through the gates." They stood and watched her as she went on alone, and the gates closed after her. They said, "We cannot see her, but she is with us still. A mother like ours is more than a memory. She is a living presence." Your Mother is always with you. She's the whisper of the leaves as you walk down the street. She's the smell of certain foods you remember, flowers you pick, and the perfume that she wore. She's the cool hand on your brow when you're not feeling well. She's your breath in the air on a cold winter's day. She is the sound of the rain that lulls you to sleep, the colors of a rainbow, she is Christmas morning. Your mother lives inside your laughter. And she's crystallized in every tear drop. A mother shows every emotion: happiness, sadness, fear, jealousy, love, hate, anger, helplessness, excitement, joy, sorrow..... and all the while, hoping and praying you will only know the good feelings in life. She's the place you came from, your first home, and she's the map you follow with every step you take. She's your first love, your first friend, even your first enemy, but nothing on earth can separate you. Not time, not space...not even death! --Author unknown Reading this poem once again reminded me how important it is to live and fully experience the present moment. There is no substitute for the beauty of right now... even in the hard times. For as we enjoy this time, it creates the memories that build our future.